What is meant by soul mate? Actually, a soul realized is complete in itself and has no need for the other. This term we use soul mate is really code words, which signify our deep desire to find a loving and fulfilling life-mate.
The problem using the words soul mate is that it also has the connotation of perfect and finding the one-and-only. This is unrealistic. This sets you up to finding someone who cannot live up to those unreal expectations and then leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction. Of course, then you need to go out and start all over again to find your new soul mate your newest one-and-only. The good news for you is that it is much more realistic (and easier) to find the right man/women that can bring you those qualities that provide a loving and completely satisfying relationship for life a life-mate.
It is important to know for yourself what is it you want in a relationship. When I say you, I mean on all levels; from the mental, emotional and to the spiritual what is it you truly want in a fulfilling relationship? What are the qualities in a man/women that you are looking for, and that are compatible to yours?
It is necessary to have similar interests and values as this provides a foundation to grow on. Ask yourself what are your priorities in a relationship (and life); measure them on a scale of one to ten, such things as communication, monogamy, commitment, children, spiritual path, and financial needs & values, etc. It is important to crystallize in your mind what it is you want and write it down, this helps to manifest it. The when you meet a man/women you are clear in what you want and will know within a short time whether he/she is compatible and has the potential for a rewarding life long relationship. Existence has many variables when it comes to relationships, there are many beautiful persons in the world that we could have a life-mate relationship with. A relationship is what we make it.
I see relationships as a classroom in our lives to learn about love and intimacy. Frequent and frank communication is an essential cornerstone in this relationship building process. (Yes, we all know this and yet this continues to be the most forgotten item among the thousands of people I have worked with, Emerson said, (People are more to be reminded than taught.)
We need to wake up out of the dream that the other has the sole responsibility to make us feel whole, to complete us and to fulfill our dreams. In a life-mate connection we open our hearts and surrender to love and in doing so we surrender the ego so that we can meet the other at a deep level. We let another touch us at the core of who we are and this allows intimacy to develop and grow.